Equality for Women

Next Sunday we begin a four part series on Equality for Women. The Leadership of our Faith Community take the Egalitarian view. Rich, Winn and I are going to each take a Sunday to teach and tell our stories on how we came to hold this view. The Fourth Sunday we are going to do a panel discussion and open dialogue with the community.

We have modeled our view for years. It seems most people that belong to our community accept this view also. However, we thought it was time to talk openely and do some teaching on the subject. There is a very big, inflential church in our city that holds a complementarian view. The complementarian view in our humble opinion is oppressive to women. It seems the more influence this church gets the more we are hearing questions as to "why" do they teach oppression of women? We want to be clear on where we land on this issue. We also want to be honest and look at the Scripture and wrestle with some of the hard texts. For those interested there are many good books on this topic where the issue has been addressed by scholars. Here is one such work by N.T. Wright on Women in Ministry.

I am looking forward to this series. We want to be known for the place where women can be free to fulfill their God-given gifts, talents and callings.

First Course Completed

I emailed my course work for my first 8 credits toward my doctorate! 26 page journal, 15 book reports, and a 21 page summative paper. This was one of the more challenging projects I have had to do in a very long time. I loved the reading and the lectures. I had a very difficult time with the writing. I learned a lot about how to manage my time with the writing. For instance, I won't read all 15 books again and then go back and write book reports...not a good way to get the work done.

Now I am working on my next two courses so will have to put in a very large order to Bean Books!

Next O.T. Theology which I am hoping I can do as an Independent Study with Winn Griffin. Winn is acting as a mentor and editor for me as I go through this process. What a gift he is! He has traveled this road twice himself so he has much to impart to me.

I am also going to take the Off The Map conference in November for credit. Go here
for all the details of a party you won't want to miss. I am looking forward to seeing many great folks from around the country at this event. Also, the guests that will be facilitating discussion are some of my favorite people.

It's nice that Bakke Grad School offer this kind of learning experience as course work.

Summer has been interesting. Lots going on. I am hoping for a silent retreat in September! Still working at getting Turning Point off the ground. The faith community is doing well. I have to say it again...I love the faith community I serve. Real people that have found a way to love Jesus in the midst of all their struggles and brokenness.

I was at an event this summer that was over the top "religious" I sat listening to all the blah, blah, blah that religion offers and all the while had to deal with the anger and frustration in my own heart...by the way this is a spiritual discipline for me...sitting through that kind of event and not go away judging...real observations, yes, judging that's another level for me..anyway...the point being, the next morning when I got to our worship gathering it struck me once again how incredibly wealthy I am to be in relationship with the people of VCC.

This was a brief interruption of my blogging break!

Thoughts on Leadership

Today I am writing book reports and working on my summative paper for OVI.

I am also reflecting on leadership. This summer our community is going to gather to discuss what leadership at the Vineyard might look like. We are going to have a meal and use thoughts from different sources to help with the discussion. Several years ago I read a little book, In the Name of Jesus, by Henri Nouwen. A couple of thoughts then that I think could be helpful today:

Christian leaders cannot be persons who have well-informed opinions about the burning issues of our time. Their leadership must be rooted in the permanent, intimate relationship with the incarnate Word, Jesus, and they need to find there the source for their words, advice and guidance. Through the discipline of contemplative prayer, Christian leaders have to learn again and again to the voice of love and to find there the wisdom and courage to address whatever issue presents itself to them. Dealing with burning issues without being rooted in a deep personal relationship with God easily leads to divisiveness because, before we know it, our sense of self is caught up in our opinion about a given subject.

This book is small but rich. Like the thought above I realize how many times I am quick to respond with my opinion from a place that has not taken time to be with God. There is something so true about spending time in contemplative prayer, being present to God, that carries me into situations and being present to it...in other words, I find myself not so quick to respond with my opinion when I practice contemplative prayer consistently...I find that instead of offering a quick opinion I slow down and ask questions and listen.

I am looking forward to these times of discussion and reflection. We will also use some thoughts from Brain McLaren's article "Dorothy on Leadership", the Nouwen book and "Missional Leaders" by Roxburgh....

McLaren at the Vineyard

Here is an event we are looking forward to. If you are around let us know if you can make it.

Brian McLaren with Off The Map

Vineyard Shoreline – 17712 15^th NE Shoreline WA 98155

June 13^th 9:30 -11:30 AM

$20 per person at the door

Brian will talk about his new book, evangelism and take questions on any topic

Random Goings On

Today I am at the office preparing to officiate a wedding and speaking for our Sunday gathering. It's raining in Seattle. It has been a beautiful, record breaking week and now the rain actually feels nice.

I am finishing up Overture I for my DMin program. My deadline is June 30th, the pressure is on.

I am working on the Strategic Plan for Turning Point which includes planning our first annual fund raiser...we have a great planning team for the event. It is going to be good fun.

I am seeing the beginning possibly (I almost don't want to say it) of the facility community center dream form. The local YMCA wants to use the building for youth summer camps. I met with a woman from the community who is interested in starting a "community living room" she is a barista and would like to do a coffee shop with free wifi and have youth volunteers to staff it as job training and leadership development. I think it's a great idea. I am praying for all the pieces to come together. We would also like to be a venue for local artists...so in some discussions about that. Very exciting times ahead!

Recently read "Simply Christian: by N.T. Wright -- I highly recommend it. I really want to do a spiritual exploration group with it for people interested in exploring the Christian faith.

Thinking about how to form a group from within our faith community who would be interested in meeting some and discussing missional leadership. Something is coming together though not fully yet. We don't want it to be leadership development classes or the such...just a space to gather and discuss dreams, passions and what does a missional leader do...that kind of thing.

Lot's going on...life is very good!

Enough diverting...back to preparing

Recent Happenings

It's been a while since blogging. Lets see...
We went to Winn's hooding ceremony at George Fox in Portland. Winn is a friend, he received his second doctorate degree which is a big accomplishment... it was fun to be with him and his family for part of the celebration.

Last Thursday through Saturday I went to Whidbey Island with about 35 women from my faith community. We went on a retreat. It was pretty amazing...my friend Sharon, who is studying spiritual direction and a new friend, Anita facilitated the retreat. We had meaning, fun, great food, great conversation...there was singing, laughing, collaging, praying, walks on the beach and so much more...it is times like these that I am reminded how rich my life is...

Life is so full right now but good, very good...

Today my friend Jim was in my office. He was opening mail and someone sent him some promotional stuff...a button that said I heart (a picture of a heart) my job...he left it on my desk...after he left I looked at that button and smiled...I heart my job!

I am finishing my reading for Overture I in my program...almost completed my 4000 pages! Next I need to do about 25 book reports and write a paper...then I complete Overture I. I am going on a study retreat with my friend Deb the first week of June since school keeps getting pushed to the back of my schedule...we are going to go to her beach house and finish up our writing...

Rich's birthday is at the end of the month...have a surprise 3 day trip to the sun planned with some friends...

Lots to do right now with next steps for Turning Point, VCC and school...

Spring is here

I am thankful I live in a place that has four seasons. I really love all of the seasons. Everytime a new season begins, I think, this is my favorite season. I think I have finally realized that the seasons so reflect the way I view this journey.

This week started with news of two deaths. One person I only knew from reading his blog, a young man, a father, a church planter, a husband that has lived through losing his first wife to cancer and now losing his own battle with cancer. The other, an older man, my god-father, he was 82 and died unexpectantly and suddenly. He was in great health, still worked 5 days a week...

Death, sadness, despair...then I wake up and it is spring...there is something about coming out of the literal season of winter, death, and waking up and it is spring that reminds me of the story I live in...that there are seasons...that out of death will come new life, that in our relationships and in times of death and despair there is joy in the morning, in the spring, when new life appears...

As I approach the end of the lenten season and follow Jesus as he turns his face toward Jerusalem, death, despair I also have an inner joy that says, I know that's not the end of the story...there is new life, what all that encompasses I have no idea...that's why I follow Jesus, why I want to learn from him...that someday...when all things are put to right...I will see clearly what it all means...but now...mourning and joy...they go hand in hand

Thoughts from NT Wright

We were gone at the start of Lent. I wanted to have some times of noticing and participating in Lent this year...it's a bit late, however, I have been reading and reflecting on the upcoming Holy Week. We begin with Palm Sunday and we will have a Tenebrae Service on Good Friday and then of course an Easter Celebration...I love this time of year...with Spring in the air...time to clean, plant, watch as the death of winter comes to life...

As I was reading some articles on Easter and Resurrection, I came across this (I need to have someone teach me how to hyperlinnk) if you are interested, NT Wright has an article on Resurrection and a parable for us today...you will have to cut and paste into your browser. It's worth a read and then I would like to hear your thoughts...

http://www.ntwrightpage.com/Wright_Resurrection_Postmodern.htm

Bangkok

We arrived Bangkok late yesterday afternoon. We got to our hotel, security checked our van for bombs...there is a bit of unrest here, demonstrations in the streets. Our hotel is beautiful, right on the river. We stayed at the hotel, had dinner and went to bed.

This morning we had a delicious breakfast, let Alex swim for a few hours then we started our adventure into the city. It was a bit like being in a movie. We took a water taxi from the hotel up the river and got off at the sky train. We took the sky train into the city and went to look for some shopping.

Our first stop was like a high end US mall. We asked some folks where to go and ended up in a Tuk Tuk (small cycle with a seat on the back) and were off through the back streets of Bangkok. He took us to a building and said we could shop for clothing. We went in and realized this wasn't what we thought it would be. But, I wanted to shop for a dress for my son Michael's wedding in July and we were in a shop that had Thai silk and a tailor. I ended up being fitted for a beautiful silk dress and jacket which is being delivered to our hotel tomorrow evening...

what a fun experience...

then our Tuk Tuk took us to the MBK -- a shopping mall with bartering---I think it has 10 floors of every kind of shop you could imagine...

We had so much fun bartering for gifts and a few things to bring home....

4 hours later we were back on the sky train to the pier and on the water taxi to our hotel...

We are sitting in the business center checking email and blogging...

We are off to shower and go to dinner...then tomorrow back to MBK....

We can't go to the street markets because of the mobs demonstrating, they told us it wouldn't be safe for Americans...

We have one more day in Bangkok, then we leave very early on the 17th but gain a day coming home so we arrive Seattle the 17th around 11:30 a.m.

I was dreading Bangkok, it 's not so bad...we had a great day

Our last day on Koh Phangnan

We are down to the last day on the island. Nicole is keeping Alex for us at the beach so we can have some alone time...we are puttering around the island, buying a few gifts for home and then we are going to do something very adventurous...shhhh don't tell anyone...we are getting tatoos...yes, we are...there is a very talented artist here that does the lettering in beautiful Thai...we have watched many of the people here get them and so we decided our last day we would...I am a little afraid...I don't like needles but we are going to do it....

We leave tomorrow morning from here on a speedboat back to the island of Koh Samui, then fly to Bangkok where we will spend 3 nights and 2 days...then home on St Patrick's day...if anyone reading this sees Aaron will you remind him to pick us up at 11:30 a.m. on Friday? Does anyone know how Mr. B is doing?

Back to our last day on the island...it has been wonderful....

Thoughts after the wedding

The last two days have been magical. On the day of the rehearsal, Nicole took Alex for a few hours to give Rich and I some alone time. Rich had his first Thai massage! woohoo...he liked it! We went into the little village and bought a few trinkets and then back to get ready for the rehearsal. Doing a rehearsal on the beach had some challenges but all went well and then we went to the pool bar overlooking the bay for a beautiful, delicious Thai buffet. Lots of toasting and very fun. Had some great conversations with some of the young people that will be traveling on with nicole. Side note: Do any of you remember the 1970's hit song "Just call me Angel of the morning" by Merrilee Rush and the turnabouts? A remake by some Thai artists is playing every where we go here...so funny, I remember my high school dances...during the rehearsal dinner the bar was playing Led Zepplin and Pink Floyd and Michael Jackson...it seems so funny to hear those tunes here... Yesterday the wedding was surreal...picture 50 people on a beach, torches, candles in the rocks, it was still daylight, around 5:00 -- the resort has a sound system on the beach so the music was hooked in through an ipod -- Erika walked in to a Dave Matthews song, not sure which one but it was stunning...the whole thing from the ceremony to the dinner following to the all out dancing party in the sand after...what a memory! Alex did his share of dancing! Break dancing in the sand -- such a fun night.... Today we are pretty much exhausted -- oh yeah, I fell down the steps last night..on the way down to the beach after the ceremony, I missed a step and have pretty skinned up knees and hands....makes for going in the salt water tricky today... We are spending the day at the pool, just hanging out...tonight we are going to a bbq on the beach... Alex was invited by one of the local families to come to their daughter's b'day party yesterday...I wish we could have gone...couldn't go because of the wedding... Several of the local people came to the wedding...people erika and nicole met when they were here last year for 5 weeks and have hung out with since being here again... I met several local people who told me they love my daughter! Also have had some great conversations with the hotel staff...a few of them worked on Phuket and after tsunami came here...interesting stories...the staff here are so kind, they treat Alex like a prince...I'm not sure how he will readjust to reality! Back to the pool...

Grid Blog for International Women's Day: Fear

When the idea came up to write on smashing patriarchy I was a little hesitant. Why? Because in certain traditions of the Christian church you open Pandora’s Box when you talk out loud about this topic…so your choice is to remain silent on an issue that causes injustice. I can’t do that anymore. Not when it comes to the issue of power.

I have a few simple thoughts regarding “big voices” such as mega churches that especially emphasize patriarchy or as stated below, “control by men of a disproportionately large share of power…

Someone said or I read recently in regards to women in leadership, that nothing can be truly human that excludes one half of humanity…

Good, smart Christian thinkers disagree on women in leadership or more specific ordination of women. When smart people study out the Scripture and see opposite results I wonder why one would not error on the side of freedom rather than oppression of people? It doesn’t make sense to me. Jesus was inclusive of all. He made room for women…here is a website if you are interested in studying equality.

What do we do with women like Jackie Pullinger or Mother Teresa? Do we say they were out of biblical order because they taught men? How arrogant…how condescending…how conceited…how haughty…how egotistical…how bigheaded…how proud, wait don’t these words describe the people you know or hear that espouse patriarchy?

I recently read a book, Divided by Faith, in it the author explains that in the late 19th Century Christians, good Christians, smart Christians published why slavery is biblically sound, socially sound, etc, etc, etc…

After all we have learned about oppression in so many ways why wouldn’t we want to follow the way of Jesus? The way of sharing power, restraining power and including everyone?

I wonder if fear is an underlying driver to not accept women leaders? Please don’t respond with biblical arguments, as I stated before, smart people have studied the Scripture thoroughly and land at an egalitarian view of women and men leading. I am more wondering if it isn’t fear that causes men and women to buy in to patriarchy? I wonder what would happen if men and women found a way to co-lead as they did in the garden?

Day 3 on Koh Phangan

It's 10:00 a.m. here on March 8th...that means it is 7:00 p.m. on March 7th at home. Alex is fried from the sun. We keep total block on him all day but the sun is intense and he doesn't take a break from the water at al. Today he is has to rest from the water. He is a trooper. He doesn't complain and he is having a blast. I talked Rich into trying a Thai massage today...he has some adventure in him... Today at 4:00 we have the wedding rehearsal then a rehearsal dinner at the pool bar which overlooks the pool and the bay...it is beautiful... Tomorrow is the wedding....it's going to be beautiful, the ceremony makes me cry just reading through it... Rich saw a komoto dragon on his walk this morning. There is an area of the beach that has large rocks...he was walking through and saw a 5 - 6ft very thick komoto dragon and wouldn't you know it he didn't have his camera... Back to the beach...

We landed in paradise

We are finally here. Have been on Koh Phangan for one full day now and we are having a blast. We thought we were going to have to spend the night on Koh Samui because we ended up there so late (the ferry to Phangan doesn't run at night) but when we finally arrived at Samui, Nicole surprised us there...she had hired a speed boat to come and get us and bring us straight to Phangan...we were so relieved because we were exhausted, plus we were so happy to see her!

We are in paradise...this island is beautiful..we are in a cottage overlooking the beach...the Thai people are so nice...so hospitable...we spent the day between the pool which overlooks the bay and the beach body surfing...Alex got a little sunburned yesterday...we are keeping him covered in sun block today..we cannot keep him out of the water...

The beach is white sand, coral, warm water...it is breathtaking...

I got a Thai massage yesterday...it was 500 baht which is 12 USD and it was better than any massage I have ever had...so relaxing...I think I may have a daily massage...

Alex exchanged his money and thinks he is very wealthy, he has 100,000 baht!

Yesterday, we had lunch -- thai beers, pad thai, spring rolls, fried rice, Alex pizza...it was so delicious...our bill was 1245 baht which is about 30 USD...amazing!

The beach is great, about every 100 yards you can have a massage or spa treatment...

The wedding is Thursday evening, we are 15 hours ahead of PST...there is about 40 people here for the weddding...fun meeting new people in such an unusual setting...

Tonight we are walking to a village for dinner...I can tell we have a few more adventures ahead of us...and much relaxation!

Got to get back to the pool...

1st Leg of our journey down

We made it! We left Seattle at 12:20 a.m. and are now on a 7 hour layover in Taipai...it is 10:00 a.m. here so 6:00 p.m. Seattle time...

our 14 hour flight was easy...just got on and went to sleep..we all slept well...woke up watched two movies had a meal and we were landing in Taipai...

Sad thing is there was a flight directly to bangkok when we arrived but they wouldn't let us on unless we paid an extra 260.00 per person...so we are hanging out at the airport...nothing here but a couple of shops and this free internet room...

next stop bangkok, then fly to koh samuai...spend the night and take a ferry to koh phanghan...

Our trip to Thailand begins with a story

Rich, Alexander and I are going to a little island in SE Thailand. We have been planning this trip for almost a year. My daughter's best friend is getting married on the beach on March 9th. They asked me to officiate the wedding and they bought Rich and my tickets six months ago. The tickets came in the mail in October. We were leaving March 2nd and returning March 17th. At Christmas we decided to buy Alex a ticket and bring him along....

We planned to go to the airport on March 2nd at around 8:00 p.m. thinking we would get there super early, check in and hang out. The groom and about 20 other people going to the wedding were all on our flight.

Wednesday we went to bed so excited...at midnight my cell phone rang, it was my niece asking me why were not at the airport. The groom didn't know my cell number so he called her worried as they were boarding the plane and we were not there..it dawned on me, oh my gosh...March 2nd at 12:40 a.m.

We missed our flight...

We were in shock...

We cried...

I emailed my daughter, she is already in Thailand with the bride and others and was so excited we were on our way...

We called the airlines to see if we could get on the next flight....they were closed until 6:00 a.m.

We cried...

I began looking online for any possible flight to Bangkok in the next few days...

At 2:30 I took a sleeping pill...

At 6:00 a.m. I called China airlines and they rebooked us for March 4th at 12:40 a.m. with a very minimal change fee... they were very helpful...

It will take longer as our connecting flights had to be rebooked as well so it will take us 24 hours longer than planned to get to the island...

We are going to the airport at 8:00 p.m. tomorrow night...

We are still in shock that we missed it...funny how one's mind can lock into something and then not be able to see the obvious...I think there might be some sort of life illustration in this but don't quite see it yet..

The good news...we will get there...

So our vacation begins...

Currently Reading

A Theology as big as the City by Ray Bakke - For school and VCC book study--go here to review or join the discussion
http://www.quicktopic.com/34/H/QwmZNfayAay
or here and click on the left link to discuss
http://vineyard-cc.org/

For school:
Transforming Mission by David J. Bosch
Part I - New Testament Models of Misson chapters like Luke-Acts Practicing Forgiveness and Solidarity with the Poor
or Part 2 - Historical Paradigms of Mission - chapters like the Missionary Paradigm of the Eastern Church
Part 3 - Toward a Relevant Missiology - with chapters like Mission as the Quest for Justice
I am just beginning this book...

Also for school:
The Female Advantage - Women's Ways of Leadership by Sally Helgesen
Really enjoying this book...

Thailand

I just lost a long post...second time today that's happened...so frustrating...

Okay, cloing comments from me on my rant..bottom line, I think it's extremely bad manners...

Nicole, my 26 year old daughter left for SE Asia on Tuesday night...she will be gone four months...traveling with friends through Thailand, Vietnam, Lous, Camodia, she would like to get to India. Rich and I and Alex are meeting her here http://www.panviman.com/phangan/index.html for her best friend's wedding...I am officiating the wedding on a white, sandy beach. We will be gone a little over two weeks on the small island of Koh Phangan...nothing really there except the resort, the beach and a small village. I am looking forward to rest, sun and getting some reading finished for school. I have about 2000 pages to finish and reports to write so it will be nice to have some downtime away from everything to read...I am also looking forward to spending time away with Rich and Alex and the bonus is to be there with Nicole and her friends...

I don't think Rich and I would have ever chosen a vacation in Thailand. When I was invited to officate with expenses paid we realized again the way gifts come to us

all of a sudden the period key on my computer has stopped working

time to reboot!

Exit Etiquette - Warning this is a rant

One of the most painful things about pastoring/leading in a faith community setting is disappearing people. I know it is part and parcel for working with people but I still don’t know how to deal with the pain which causes anger which causes reflection on the anger and so on…

For those of you who do the same or similar work, you probably know what I am talking about. For those of you who don’t maybe you could listen with an attitude of trying to understand?

People come into the faith community. Some people, especially those who have grown up in church come with hurt and legitimate wounding from past experiences. I have a lot of empathy – I have had terrible/abusive/self-serving leader experiences on more than one occasion in my 30+ years of being in different churches…(4 to be exact). So, I want the faith community I serve to be a place of healing.

When people come in, there are some that come with a sense of what community should be…there seem to be many different expectations. Here is the experience I find most painful…when I or when I observe others in the community invest time and genuine effort trying to get to know someone and let relationship unfold…then the person is gone, gone from any contact… there is not so much as an email or conversation that says “thanks, it was nice to begin to get to know you and the community but this isn’t the right fit for me so I won’t be around anymore” or, “thanks, it was an experience trying to get to know you and the faith community, but the truth is, I think you guys are way off, no offense but this isn’t the place for me”, or, “just wanted to let you know I won’t be around anymore, don’t want to go into the why, but wanted to let you know I noticed you tried to have relationship with me, thanks”

Am I wrong? Is there no church-faith community exit etiquette? I don’t mean the one or five time visitor that’s looking – I mean people who get invited out and over and in other ways have been intentionally noticed and people have tried to get to know them…

For those of us who choose to be in community that has a front door for people to come and go through it would be nice and less painful to have some exit etiquette….

Any suggestions?

That’s my rant, thanks for reading…

Two Week Intensive

Today I finished my first two weeks of a DMin progam at Bakke Graduate University and I am manic...Two weeks of rapid fire lectures and interactions with people (other than a handful) I had never met before...

So much to process...both in what I heard and what I experienced...I feel like my world was stretched wide open and I'm not sure what or how the expansion will reform me...

I am very thankful for this opportunity...

I am continually in awe of the Most High for giving me people in my life that make this sort of thing possible and I hope they all know who they are....

not the least of, my faith community for the space to follow this path...

My brain is somewhat fried...

Peace

Retreat before the madness

As much as I don't want the Christmas season to be crazy busy I have embraced that it will be. When you have 7 grown children, a seven year old, and 8 grandchildren, you are the lead pastor of a vibrant faith community and you have extended family, it is what it is.

So, I began this season with a retreat. I would like to say it was a "silent" retreat, but really it was a retreat for solitude. There were times of silence. It was wonderful. I know that solitude sustains me in the busy life that I lead. I went with 6 other women. We had set times of silence, good meals, sharing of insights and just plain fun. One very small thought I read in a Nouwen meditation I will carry with me and try to get back to often. When Jesus fed the multitudes, he had to receive the little boy's lunch first...it's in receiving that we can give out...I am going to practice "receiving" often so I will have a place to draw from that is not my own.

Retreat is good. Retreat brings perspective. Something happens when all the distractions and busyness are removed, for a few minutes, hours or days...I want to do a 5 day solitude retreat after the first of the year...

A good way to enter the madness...

Turning Point Awarded Funding

Good, good news today. Last May we submitted two grant applications for funding for the purpose of capacity building in the development of Turning Point (see prior entries)...We found out today, one of our grant applications was approved for funding in the amount of $30,000! There were over 500 applicants with only 12 awards given, we were the very last award for this particular round of funding...

I am thankful...

I am amazed...

I am scared...

I am still stunned...

I am hopeful...

I am excited to see what else transpires as we go forward...

I am thankful to Jesus for His faithfulness and goodness and trust to us...

I am thankful for my congregation who are some of the most giving, courageous people I know....I am going to embrace and savor this good news as long as possible...

Global Support with a mission

We would like to take a few weeks and let Diane Ellis and Leigh Buchan tell you the story of how the mission group below is coming about, read and feel free to comment.

How to make a difference on a Global level and what motivated us to launch Global Support with a mission

During our travels overseas over the last 4 years we have been exposed to a variety of eye opening, cultural experiences that awakened in us a desire to do something about the plight of others less fortunate. I don’t believe it was coincidence that brought us across the paths of the poorest of the poor in the world. It seemed those that were the most desperate, the most troublesome to us were the children.
The children that we met had no say about the conditions they were born into, about the injustices they were being subjected to. They had no voice in how they were living, no voice in their future. We realized that we had to help, that we had an opportunity to help. But how?
We knew we didn’t want to just throw money at projects or organizations that we knew little about, and we knew we were not in a position to start our own program in a foreign country. No, we needed to find someone that was already doing the work we would like to do, someone that we could come along side and help support what they were doing. So we began to evaluate what we liked about existing programs, what we thought worked and what didn’t. We knew we wanted to stay in a long term relationship. We knew we wanted our efforts to be directed primarily toward children, to help them have a voice in their destiny, in their future. We knew that we wanted to somehow bridge the gap between the resources that are available to us and those that had nothing. But how would we do that? Where would we start? There are thousands of worthy causes, millions of marginalized people. How would we choose? Could WE really make a difference? Still, more questions than answers. Next week more on Global…

More Turning Point

I have been listening to different folk talk about their perception of Christians. I don’t know the source of a recent survey, when young people ages 16-29 were polled. They were asked the question, “what do you think of when you hear the brand “Christian”? The top three answers: 1.anti-homosexuals, 2. judgmental, 3. hypocritical. I think this is a sad commentary. Whether it is reality or not is not the issue here. Most of us know the saying, “perception is reality”. Part of our vision for Turning Point is to somehow join with other Christ followers to help change that perception. My reality and the study of our sacred text help me understand the opposite, that Christians should be the most generous and kind people on the planet. To that end, we at Turning Point want to serve those that don’t have economic access to food, shelter, and education that teaches relational life skills found so often in issues of divorce, domestic violence, substance abuse, etc.
We are at the very beginning of developing Turning Point, an organization that will partner with other organizations and individuals. We don’t want to reinvent the wheel. Where we can, we want to bring support. There are many opportunities available now in our community to serve. Go to the service opportunities link on our website and you can see different ways to partner with the Center for Human Services as well as IHNS to serve our community. We also want to be about the development of new areas to bring needed support to families in Shoreline. We have hosted two brunches and will host another on Sunday, November 9, 2005. We are working on getting certification to offer an educational course, Couple Communication Workshop. Watch for details on how you can help and be a support to Turning Point.

Generous Orthodoxy Conference D.C.

Back from Washington D.C. where I participated with Off the Map's event...GO Conference. What a great time. Highlights:

Working with Bob Bowen, Elizabeth DiCandilo, Craig Spinks, Jim Henderson, Dave Richards, April Stace, Nuc, Posido, Robert, Brian, Ryan Beatty and others...

Meeting Bill Bean, Aaron Klinefeltor, Brooke, Allsion and all the others...

Listening to Jim Wallis, Brian McLaren and Martin Robinson and others....

Co-facilitating a workshop with Rachelle...

The conversations, the meals, all in all a good time...don't miss Seattle November 4-5th..it will be a good time

Turning Point - Beginning With What We Have

One of our guiding metaphors or stories is found in the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. The story is about how Jesus took a little boy’s lunch, blessed it, broke it and gave it to his disciples to give to the people that were hungry. The five loaves and two fish were multiplied as the disciples distributed what they had to feed 5000 men and their families.

There are several reasons why we love this story, this miracle of provision. First, we believe that if we bring what we have to Jesus and ask him to feed the hungry, the vulnerable, and the poor, he can and will multiply our resources of money, time, energy, talents, etc. Second, it seems that the multiplication comes as we give, as we distribute, so we don’t always have everything we need to make a big impact. We have learned to be patient and okay with small beginnings. As we begin, even in the smallest of ways, to give out to those in need, the multiplication comes. It has come through partnering with others who care about the issues that face many families without economic access to food, education, life skill training, counseling and more.

Turning Point begins, Sunday, September 11, 2005 with a warm meal. We will serve a free brunch to the Shoreline Community the second Sunday of September, October and November. It is our way of beginning, doing something small to meet a need. A warm meal in a hospitable atmosphere can go a long way for a family that is struggling to make ends meet; next week, more on Turning Point.

Turning Point

Turning Point will be the new arm of VCC that focuses on the local community. We are forming it as an entity with some separation from VCC so that the dream we have of delivering services to families in need will not get lost in the internal workings of the faith community. We have noticed that even in the most well intentioned churches (including ours) the pull to serve the church is so powerful that getting much done to deliver justice to those outside the church just gets missed. Our attempt to remedy this is the development of Turning Point; under the faith community but with a separate name, checking account, etc. Eventually, Turning Point, if it makes sense to do so, will become its own charitable non-profit organization.

The working vision statement for Turning Point is that families in Shoreline, North King and South Snohomish Counties have access to social services. The working mission statement is: to deliver social services by partnering with others and with special concern for those who are poor and vulnerable by providing educational, coaching, care and counseling services to families.

The vision/mission statements are very rough, but I think you get the idea. We dream that someday Turning Point will make an impact in hundreds of families that would otherwise not have access to much needed social services and that cycles of poverty, abuse, divorce, broken familial relationships, at-risk youth and many other social ills would be turned around and brought to wholeness. We will do this in partnership with other agencies and organizations for maximum impact. Next- more on Turning Point

Our Dreams

This will be the first in a series of articles or maybe we could say conversations. Conversation implies two-way communication, so, we are going to write some short articles about our dreams, our life together, and our moving toward such and would like to hear your responses, insights, comments and questions. Each article will be listed on the sidebar of the VCC web site here http://vineyard-cc.org/# as well as on this blog. You can post any comments here. We hope you will find this a helpful way to dialogue about our community.

To begin, let’s start with some background. The last few years, through circumstances and many influences, we have become convinced that we exist to serve our world in the personal, local and global realm. We believe that followers of Jesus embrace the way of Jesus that lives pursuing their relationship with God and serving this world in tandem. To that end we encourage one another to embrace spiritual practices such as prayer, meditation, fasting, reading, gathering together, hospitality, as well as many others…in the future we will devote some articles to “spiritual practices in community”.

We dream about the myriad of ways we as a community create an environment that sees every person’s journey encouraged to serve in the three realms of mission noted above. To begin with we want to talk about our dreams in the local area.

Next - The birth of 'Turning Point'

Going Home

We leave Orcas to go home today. This stay has been very slow, lots of solitude...my sister does not have a television. It has been great to see Alex play for 10 days without a T.V. or video games! He and Nate have read books and played outside until they were covered in dirt, so fun to watch. They especially like chasing rabbits. There are so many rabbits here. They run all over the property.
We have had a very nice time here. My brother-in-law has been a most gracious host--we have named him our "Camp Director"

I usually dream a lot and remember my dreams. It's a language I have learned some about and it is definitely a way that I hear from God as well as a way of working out my life...

I haven't remembered many of my dreams the past 10 days...maybe because life has slowed to a halt there is not a lot to work out while on vacation...

Last night I had a very vivid dream. I was with Gordon Cosby from the Church of the Savior. He was giving me advice. I can't remember what he was saying but I knew I needed to pay attention. I knew he had a lot of wisdom that I needed to hear. My dream changed and I was frustrated for not asking him certain questions. I was trying to get him on the phone but was not having any luck. I remember thinking, I should write down all my questions on a sheet of paper so if I do get him on the phone I won't forget what I want to ask...end of dream

This has obvious implications to me on the surface. I visited Church of the Savior two years ago and have read several books about COS. We are in the process of trying to develop ways to incubate several mission groups. We understand that the COS structure does not translate to our context so we have been trying to figure out what does transfer. Lots of discussion, lots of reading, lots of praying for the correct structures to enable us to see our faith community serving the places of pain and need in our world...I think there is more for me, I will have to think about it...

Orcas is Beautiful

We arrived on Orcas Island about 4PM yesterday. What a beautiful setting! My sister's house looks across the road to West Harbor. The weather is outstanding. Rich and my brother-in-law are out hiking this a.m. Alex and Nate are chasing rabbits. There are so many rabbits on the property. I am having coffee, being quiet, and now reading through some blogs...

I brought a few books to read with me. I started with "girl meets God" by Lauren Winner. It is a memoir of a Jewish woman that converts to Christianity. Lauren has her degree in the history of American religion. Something she reports in her book, really struck me. She recounts the beginnings of Billy Graham's crusades. Lauren tells the history, "In 1957, Billy Graham held a revival in New York City...He wanted to make sure the local churches were prepared to welcome and support the converts, so...Graham and his people...met with local Christian leaders, helping to prepare New York churches to receive what Graham hoped would be a large influx of New Christians...Graham was Baptist, evangelical, in 1952 he began to reach hundreds of thousands of readers with a newspaper column...and a year before his New York crusade, he founded Christianity Today the country's leading evangelical magazine. His credentials were impeccable.

Graham's work with the local churches in NY sparked a huge controversy: Graham met with fellow evangelicals, he also worked with Catholics, liberalish Presbyterians, and others outside of the orthodox Protestant fold. In today's pluralist climate, such overtures may not sound terribly edgy, but at the time they were radical."

Graham took a lot of heat, writings came out against him, powerful conservative Christians were outraged, and they denounced the rising young evangelist. Bob Jones, John R. Rice and others. "Graham, however, stood his ground, insisting that the fighting, feuding and controversies among God's people...is a very poor example." that "God has people in all his churches," and that "the one badge of Christian discipleship is not orthodoxy, but love."

I have read or seen more of Billy Graham in the last month than in a very long time. I am sure that it is because of all the publicity he got around his last NY meetings...as I watched him interviewed and now reading this, I wonder about a few things we, the 2005 church could learn from him:

He held strong to his beliefs without condemning others (Christians) that held difference in their theology and practice...

He was very "big" he had a gift to be with people from all walks of life and faith, and these people (usually heads of governments) were drawn to him (sort of like Jesus)...

He stood his ground, with love in the midst of being accused of heresy from the very conservative wing of Christians of his time...he was accused of being too nice, too compliant...

He still to this day has impeccable credentials...

I am wondering if Billy Graham's example of inclusiveness is not an accident for those of us today that watch as an amazing cultural shift is taking place in our world...

I wonder if we too, could hold our ground in love...

I wonder if we too, could have people that differ with us be our friends...

I wonder if we too, could be accused of being too nice, too compliant when accused of not having it right...

There is a place for disagreement, there is a place for discussion of disagreements, but what I see written about brothers and sisters in Christ over the blogsphere and not face to face or even email to email, is a very sad commentary for our time...

I read so many backhanded attacks on people that are trying to faithfully live out their service to Christ...it doesn't even seem to be conservatives attacking more liberalish folk (although I see this as well), it seems to be happening in all corners of the church...

I think public critiquing has it's place, but I wonder why it can't be done with much humility and love...

Okay, my rant is over, back to vacation...

Vacation

We are leaving in a few minutes for vacation on Orcas Island. Rich, Alex, Nate and I are going to my sister's house. I am sure we will have a great time...looking forward to rest, relaxation, and a bunch of fun...

Last night a few of us celebrated Erin's birthday. Erin is somewhat new to our community. Celebrating moments...that's what we did last night. We went around the table and though we don't know Erin well, everyone offered a toast...toasted what they appreciated about her or how they look forward to getting to know her better...

It was reciprocal toasting, after each toast, Erin responded...so then we had to toast the original toastee (is that even a word?)

Off to Orcas...

Skydiving

Yesterday Rich and I and Alex went to the Snohomish airport to watch Nicole and a group of her friends skydive. They went up in four different loads. Nicole was in the last load so we were there until 7:00 pm. What an awesome experience. As we watched each load go, climb, jump and land. I really wanted to do it. It was too expensive otherwise I would have gone with my daughter. You jump in tandem with an instructor. My daughter's anxiety grew with each load that went up and came back. By the time she was on the plane she started to cry she was so afraid, then she said her instructor had to peel her hands away from the door to jump! She said once they jumped it was awesome! She also said she is glad she did it but will never do it again...

I love her spirit...
I love her courage...
I love her persistence...
I love her honesty with fears...
I love bonding with her in these moments...

Random goings on

Today I am cleaning my house. I started on Saturday. It is therapeutic to clean out closets, scrub toilets, paint a bathroom desperately in need. I don't know if we will get to the painting today though. It's ready to be painted. Our life gets so full at times it is hard to slow down and enjoy being home. We have gone in and out of being very busy and having house guests. It's nice to be home, have no one here and get some much needed cleaning and purging done.

At four o'clock today I am going to watch my 25 year old daughter sky dive. It is her friend's birthday party, a group of friends jumping out of a plane. Nicole called me a few weeks ago to tell me she would be jumping and wanted to know if I would make sure to be praying. I am going to watch and pray...she is very adventuresome, I would like to think she gets that from me but somehow she comes by it quite naturally, I cannot imagine jumping out of a plane, it sounds exhilarating, but I don't think I could bring myself to actually do it.

Last week I joined a group of women from VCC in an eight week group called Simple Spirituality. You can go to off-the-map.org and check it out. It's formed around 7 practices, this last week our practice was God is good, I will practice trusting Him with my life...

Each week we come back to report how that practice influenced us, what we noticed about God, ourselves, etc...I was happy when a couple of women initiated facilitating this group. I was a part of a SS group a couple of years ago. The group helps me to slow down, notice God in the everyday, notice my response to God and to others...

One thing I have discovered about me is that I need places, spaces, to center my life. To slow down and practice incorporating my beliefs into my real life, SS helps me do that in community with others trying to do the same...I can let myself get so busy, do so many things, that I will forget to slow down and notice the Kingdom around me, I know I am in this process of learning to live my life oriented toward God and His kingdom for the long haul so this is a way for me to pace myself, to center and remember what this is all for...

I told you this would be a random post...

Rich and I and Alex are going on vacation next week, another way to center, we are going to my sister's house on Orcas Island. I haven't been to her house yet, they bought it last summer. I hear it is very fun, there will be lots of hiking, sailing, crabbing, good food and the like. Some of our friends are coming up while we are there so I am looking forward to the time away...

Got to get back to cleaning...

A Visitation of Sorts

Thursday evening a group of us got together to begin plans to put some feet to what our community is calling Turning Point. TP a new arm of ministry that cares about serving the poor. Though we have big dreams, we realize we have to start small and are committed to the long haul, to let things grow over time. What we do know is that this is who we are to be, the reason we exist.

We met for a meal before our planning time. We had finished dinner, and we were taking turns noticing where we have been and where we are heading on our journey together. Jim talked about the Shalom of God, the sense of wellness and putting things to right that comes from God. We each had a glass of wine and had broke bread, we were about to pray and take communion together when we looked up and a man was standing at the head of the table.

He had come in without us noticing. He asked if we had any food to spare. He and his family were homeless, living in their van. We got up and began to gather up food, we had food in our kitchen, leftovers from our dinner...while we were gathering food, he told a bit of his story. We gave him a number for the homeless shelter we partner with, he was overwhelmed, thanked us, asked if we had any gas vouchers as he used all his gas running his engine at night to keep his family warm.

We gave him a few dollars for gas and he went on his way, very thankful.

We sat stunned by what had just occurred. It was a holy moment. NT Wright calls these moments "thin places" between heaven and earth. We savored the moment, prayed, took communion and our meeting ended up very productive in light of the experience we had together.

Here is a Scripture I have been thinking about for years...


A Full Life in the Emptiest of Places

10If you are generous with the hungry
and start giving yourselves to the down--and-out,

Your lives will begin to glow in the darkness,

your shadowed lives will be bathed in sunlight.

11I will always show you where to go.

I'll give you a full life in the emptiest of places--

firm muscles, strong bones.

You'll be like a well-watered garden,

a gurgling spring that never runs dry.

12You'll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew,

rebuild the foundations from out of your past.

You'll be known as those who can fix anything,

restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate,

make the community livable again.

I hold on to this as a mission statement for us...God is very good

Weddings

I am officiating my niece's (actually my second cousin but like to think of her as my niece) wedding tonight. It should be fun, they are a very sweet couple, mid 20's, both from Montana, so family members from both sides have come for the wedding...many of my family members will be in attendance as well.

I actually like officiating weddings, whether they are people I know well or don't know at all...for me, it is an honor to be with people as they begin this season of their life. Last weekend I officiated a wedding for a couple I did not know. The week of the wedding the bride's mother passed. They had the memorial on Friday and the wedding on Saturday. They did such a beautiful job under very sad circumstances, it was a beautiful wedding. I think this is why I love pastoring, you get to be with people during the most intimate times of their lives, somehow I find Jesus there, right in the middle of these times...for me these are most holy, sacred times...

Values inventory

Working on trying to define what our community values...how to put those values into words...we have unspoken and spoken values, so doing a bit of inventory to see what currently is the perception of our values....

If you want to take a crack at it, I would love to hear from you...tell me what you think our community values -- just off the top of your head, there is no right or wrong to this...

Noticing 2

I sat with a woman today who is gay. She is in an eight year committed relationship, had a committal service six months ago. As we talked, I couldn't answer how she would be received in our congregation. Would they be welcomed? Would they be accepted? She has faith in God, raised in a Christian tradition but does not feel welcome in most churches....

How are we to be with this? There are so many complexities to think through with this issue...

The issue I see is at some point, in a center set system, where people are welcome at whatever point they are in their journey they will eventually run into our belief that celibate singleness and faithful heterosexual marriage is God's design...what happens then?

I read an article today on Cedar Ridge's site, (Brian McLaren is the founding pastor) you could read their position if you are interested here: http://www.crcc.org/content.php?ContentID=154

I think we will have to wrestle with this issue many times over, don't know how it will look, but what does it really mean to say we welcome and accept all people?

Rambling today...

Noticing

On Sunday I asked folks if they would practice "noticing the Kingdom" this week...pray a prayer daily to notice where God is already...my friends Jim and Barb call it "bumping into God"...so, I have prayed that prayer every morning and I honestly did not have much success in noticing...until this morning, I prayed again, went about getting ready for the day, and in the shower, it came flooding to me, so much I had to keep up with my mind...here are some things that came to me...

I noticed God:
this morning when the sun was shining, I was reminded that there will be a day when the light from God will never stop shining, I felt the future come into my present...

working in my son's first grade class, I noticed God prompted me to pray for each child as I helped them one by one do an art project, I prayed specific things for each of them...

we had dinner with a man this week, who probably would not consider himself a person of faith, as he relayed a story to us, he began to cry, I knew I was sitting with God in that moment, that God was somehow, in some mysterious way, touching this man with His love...

On Sunday I ran into a man in our facility's parking lot that asked me for money, I said no...I didn't have any money on me, and truthfully, I was irritated...

I found out that he had been in the building asking for money, and someone took him over to a box we throw change into for the poor, there was about $6.00 in change, she gave it to the man...that's Kingdom to me, Matthew 25...

Yesterday a.m. I was with a group of women who commit 2 hours a week to pray together for our faith community, a thin space, between heaven and earth happens...

I have been not so great with my husband lately, actually pretty #%@$& with him and he treats me with kindness, respect and trys to find out what's got me so uptight...so Jesus like I think...

There was more that came to me, I think it's cool that after a fews days of asking and paying some attention to trying to notice, it like kicked in and thoughts and images came like a flood...

Have you ever had that experience?

Pharisees

We are teaching through Matthew 5-7 on Sundays. The Sermon on the Mount. Some folk say this is Jesus' inaugural Address for the Kingdom. As much as I was excited to spend time with this Scripture I have to admit, I find it very difficult.

It is difficult because as I study it, meditate on it, pray on it, I realize that in many ways I am a Pharisee. I find it hard to teach, because in faith communities I think it is so easy for us to overlook the Pharisee that might be hanging out in our own hearts.

I also find difficulty in trying to convey Jesus message as a lifestyle, a lifestyle that is empowered by his very Spirit in order to follow him in a way that would produce the kind of person the Sermon speaks of...

I find we so easily resort to the "behavior", "sin" without looking at it as the symptom, the why of the behavior, the sin, and then having the grace and patience within the community to come alongside and walk out sometimes very deep seated brokenness...

One thing I am convinced of, if we don't allow Jesus in to the places of our heart to bring healing, deliverance, salvation that are still dead, or asleep to him, we don't have much hope of real change..it seems to me it is a gradual waking up to the reality of the kingdom...I asked folks to join me in a simple prayer each day this week..

Lord will you show me your kingdom reality today...

I hope we will see it...

Several Beautiful Stories Running Together

At our women's retreat earlier this month Kim led us in a journaling exercise to think about the last little while and write about a beautiful story, a moment or moments you want to capture and savor....I have had many moments this weekend to savor so here goes...

It started out earlier in the week when my mom insisted I take her sofa. She has moved into a smaller place and needed to get rid of her sofa. Rich and I have been looking for new living room furniture since last October. We have looked and looked but have not wanted to spend the money. Our sofa and love seat for those of you that have not been to our home, sinks to the floor, if you have a bad back it's almost impossible to get up once you've sat down...We did not want/nor could we spend a lot of money...

when my mom offered her sofa, I said no, as it wasn't something I would choose. We decided to take it to put in our family room (another story, the infamous Mr. B. Chewed our sofa in the family room beyond repair)...When Rich brought my mom's sofa home we put it in the living room just to see...

It brightened up our living room...We thought, hmmm, not bad, so we moved our living room furniture down to the family room and had the new sofa in the living room...

So, Friday afternoon we went to the Memorial Weekend Sale at Pier 1 and there was a sofa that we had eyed before on sale for 1/2 price, so we ended up buying it as a love seat, the wicker furniture was also on sale so we got a new arm chair as well, we got a new living room for way less than we thought we would have to spend...

Saturday we spent the entire day cleaning and rearranging our house, did a ton of laundry...it felt so nice, we have not had the time or energy to pay attention to our house in 7 months!

We had company for dinner, the first time other than our kids since last fall...something Rich and I have both really missed, we love to have people over for a meal...

Sunday I tried a different teaching method at the Vineyard, showed a video by Rob Bell than discussed what people saw as themes and what they thought about it, I think it worked well...I love to hear people think out loud, and I like to be in the room listening to different views and perspectives --letting them be there with all the tension and all, no one had to have the answers, I liked it. I wouldn't do it every Sunday, but would like to incorporate that method once in awhile.

Sunday evening we went to an engagement party for my daughter's best friend. I am going to officiate the wedding next March in Thailand. It was really fun to be with all of these young people from so many different worlds. As we were leaving, the bride to be and her father told me how much they appreciated Rich and I being willing to come to Thailand for the wedding. They are paying our travel expenses as part of the wedding budget...I told them we were thankful for the opportunity...I don't imagine Rich and I would have ever planned a vacation to a southeast island in Thailand...

This weekend, I receive and hold as a gift from God:
new furniture
having friends over for a meal
the nagel's moving home
being invited into my 25 year old daughter's world to celebrate with her and her friends
getting a vacation to Thailand
belonging to an awesome faith community
having a great husband and 7 year old to live with...not to mention the not-so-obedient Mr. B....

Lectio -Matthew 7:21-23

"Knowing the correct password--saying "Master, Master,' for instance--isn't going to get you anywhere with me. What is required is serious obedience--doing what my Father wills. I can see it now--at the Final Judgment thousands strutting up to me and saying, "Master, we preached the Message, we bashed the demons, our God-sponsored projects had everyone talking.' And do you know what I am going to say? "You missed the boat. All you did was use me to make yourselves important. You don't impress me one bit. You're out of here.'

I don't know about you but these words make me slow down and think about why I/we do what I/we do...

I am thinking about this in light of a meeting I went to yesterday with Sharon and Ingrid. It was the "Back to School Consortium" in Shoreline. There are 1899 children in the Shoreline School District that qualify for free or assistance lunch programs. In order to qualify you have to be living pretty close to or below the poverty line...Shoreline is a city with a population of 53k

This consortium is made up of people from the Center for Human Services, (a non-profit or down the street), family advocates from the school district and some volunteers that work with other low-income issues...

They plan a back to school event in August that includes school supplies, hair cuts, hygeine products, and clothes from the clothing bank as well as food and fun...

Last year they served 600 children and youth, this year the goal is 1000...

Needless to say they need a lot of donated items, money and volunteers...Costco gave them 600 backpacks...they are contacting businesses and churches to help...

This struck me...they have a complete database of churches in Shoreline, they called all of them over the past few weeks and not one church returned their call...

They asked us if we had any hints of how to get through to the churches...

They asked me if I knew of any quarterly or so meeting where all the pastors got together...I said I did not, that we have been in Shoreline one year and have never recieved an invitation (which doesn't mean it's not happening)...

One woman made a comment "wouldn't that be a powerful force"

This sent me spinning...churches, meeting together, maybe quarterly, pastors, leaders or anyone interested in seeing what needs are in the community and how we could join together to serve -- that would be a powerful force...I bet at the very minimum we could provide school supplies for 1000 kids that are in our Parish...

Back to the Lectio...Jesus help us to never use you to make us feel important, help us to go forward with the attitude of humility, which reminds me of the Paul's hymn in Philippians 2...

The church is the church only when it exists for others. . . . The church must share in the secular problems of ordinary human life, not dominating, but helping and serving. . . . It must not underestimate the importance of human example which has its origin in the humanity of Jesus. http://www.cresourcei.org/kenosis.html

Catch Up

This week I will catch up at the office. Catch up with people, paperwork and finalize our second grant proposal. I also need to begin the planning process of how we are going to re-organize our community's governance.

Last week I was in Nashville, Ft Wayne and Chicago. A good trip. Off The Map is developing a hearing and it is a much needed corrective to the way we view evangelism. I had a lot of alone time in my hotel and walking around Nashville. I actually feel like my batteries got recharged.

The weekend before leaving I went on retreat with about 25 women from our church. It was a good time. When women go on retreat, it can be a bit intense, but it was a good intense. The setting, the woman that led us in journal exercises and the amount of down time we had made for a good time.

Yesterday was Rich's birthday. We had a nice dinner and some friends invited Alex to spend the night so we could have the evening and today together...It was nice to catch up with Rich. I am practicing momentology (thanks Barb)...I am cherishing and holding the moments of solitude and just being, especially with Rich...

I need to study for the next few weeks of teaching at VCC. We are teaching through Matthew 5,6 & 7...I would be interested to hear from some of you that read my blog, to hear some thoughts on the following:

What could teaching look like in our context at our Sunday gathering if it wasn't always (maybe this was just one way) a person teaching for 20-30 minutes? Any creative ideas? Send them my way...If you want just email them to me, I really would be interested...

Peace

Returning to Life

Life is finally getting back to normal. Mother's day was (other than a slight blip) peaceful. Low key, after our morning gathering, we went to lunch with 4 of our children and my mother. My mother is doing very well. Still recovering, and in a transition to her new home, but all said and done, she continues to heal.

I am looking forward to the next week. On Thursday I leave for our community's women's retreat. We are going to Whidbey Island. It will be a time of being together, journaling, worship and prayer. There are about 30 of us going. I am looking forward to a couple of days of retreat. On Monday I leave for Nashville, Ft Wayne and Chicago with Off The Map. The time away will be nice, even though busy.

We finished our first grant proposal for our new arm of ministry. We will know by June 1st if it is accepted. Our new arm of ministry will be the container for social services to our greater community. It will include our work with low-income apartment communities, the homeless shelter, and resources for marriages in the areas of education, coaching and counseling.

I am so happy to get back to life. Nothing like an emotional roller coaster ride to throw you off kilter for a time.

That's it for now. Peace

Perspective

Do you ever have days where you feel you've been run over or beat up? That was how I felt when I posted last. I had plans that night to watch a movie with 3 other women. We were going to watch I (heart) Huckabees together over some wine and snacks. So much intensity happened all day with regard to my family, by the time our girls night came I wasn't in good shape and wanted to cancel.

I also did not want to cancel as I was looking forward to spending time with some new friends. So, I went...

Driving there I was trying to decide how to answer the question, "how are you" would I say not good and leave it, would I say okay and leave it, or would I say not good and if you want to know why I will try to make it short...

The latter happened, and we talked and talked...

I love women. Many women I know have such a natural gift to listen with empathy, to think and ask questions that help you process, to offer compassion and wisdom.

I will say it again, I am wealthy, probably one of the richest women I know, not monetarily but with friendships...I think at the end of the day, when I go from this life to what is beyond, the friendships and relationships made here are what will qualify as richness.

thank you Jesus for the multitude of relationships you have brought into my life, too many to mention, but you know and I know and I am blessed...

It's been awhile

I have not posted much since my mother got sick back in March. To say the truth, I have wanted to blog but so much personal stuff has come up since my mother's illness I wasn't sure I wanted to put it out there. So, here goes some attempt. There is nothing like a life threatening illness or situation that will bring up every unresolved issue a large family has.

I have 4 siblings. I am second to the youngest. My mom and dad divorced when I was 19. The reason for the divorce, my dad at the time around age 54 was found having an affair with a 17 year old girl. The affair began when she was 15.

Those of you who are parents. How would you feel if your 15 year old daughter was having an affair with a 52 year old married man?

This is only the most minute crack in the ice to begin to tell the story of my childhood and beyond. Suffice to say that if all that happened back then in our home were happening today, my dad would probably be in prison for life.

What has come up on the past month with one sibling in particular is he doesn't remember any of it. He thinks we have exaggerated the story. My 3 other siblings don't deny it all happened. We have all chosen to deal with it in different ways. The 5 of us have never had occasion to discuss it. There have been side conversations with each other, but never the 5 of us all together for as an intense emotional time as this.

One night at the hospital, in the waiting room, there was some reminiscing going on about all the beatings my dad gave to my oldest brother. My brother was relating the times he had to go to the ER and then would go to my aunt's house and would have to lie to people about what happened, he would say he had been in a car accident or any number of other lies to cover for what my dad did. People were sort of laughing, at one point, I said, if he were doing that today he would be in prison...

This started an all out shouting match with my other brother who doesn't think anything too bad really happened. It wasn't pretty and I used some pretty bad language. The thing that put me over the edge, was when this sibling was asked if he would leave his 5 year old daughter with dad to which he replied, yes.

Since that evening, my relationship with my 3 older siblings has been strained. Both my brothers live out of town so are not here for the day to day caring for my mom.

My younger sister has asked the other 3 to respect her boundaries around having any sort of relationship with dad. I have asked for the same.

By the way, for many years I have worked on trying to figure out how to forgive my dad, and what kind of relationship I could have with him. Where I landed was I forgive him but any relationship I try to have with him does not work.

I am today labeled by at least 2 maybe the 3 older siblings as being childish, selfish and paranoid when it comes to my dad...

It is very painful to be misunderstood by people you love. It is also painful to want familial relationships to work and when they don't you have to let go...

So, I am grieving today...Grieving again some of the pain of my childhood, grieving the pain of watching my mother come so close to death and all she has/is going through, grieving my siblings lack of understanding and being slandered by them...

This is one of those times where I have to go deep into the Lord to ask His help to do what I cannot...I know in time this will pass, letting go of illusions, expectations, even in yourself (I did not react well in some of these situations)can be a hard road...

Kind of a downer post hey?

On the positive side, my mom will be moving from rehab to her new assisted living apartment on Monday!

Peace

Amazing

My mom is fully awake and lucid! She was moved out of icu to a regular room and on Sunday will be discharged to rehab. What an amazing recovery! Thanks to everyone for your prayers and thoughts. Prayer plus her strong will to live pulled her through. I am thankful to Jesus for honoring her will to live. Thanks everyone

A Roller Coaster Ride

24 days ago my mom went to the emergency room because she was having trouble breathing. 14 days ago she had quintuple bypass surgery. My mom is 82 years old. 2 weeks ago the doctors told her that she had had a massive heart attack, that she had only had 1/3 of her heart working for probably the past few months. All of her main arteries were 99% blocked. Her choices, go home and prepare to die, they told her that her heart could last one hour, but most optimistic timeframe would be 6 months...they said she was a high risk for the bypass surgery but if she survived it and the recovery it would add years to her life.

When my mom heard her choices she told us she was not ready to die. She was very afraid to undergo the surgery but was not ready to go home and die.

My mom still works 15 hours a week at Walmart (not because she has to, because she loves to work, loves her co-workers)

She lives alone, still drives (albeit, that is a bit scarey)

We (I have four siblings) told her we would support whatever choice she made, she chose the surgery....

There were complications in surgery, it went 2 hours over the normal procedure because they could not stop her bleeding...

The surgeon came out and told us the bypass was a success but the complication during surgery left my mom very vulnerable...

The first week after surgery, they kept her under the anethesia, on a ventilator until they could stabilize her.....

It was touch and go, hour by hour the first week...

My sister, brother-in-law and I spent the first 3 nights at the hospital taking turns checking on her....we promised her we would not leave her alone...

On Easter Sunday the doctors decided to cut her anetheisa and begin to wake her up...we did not know if she had had a stroke and how she would come out of it...

By Wednesday she was awake and lucid...they took a risk and removed the ventilator as they were afraid if they did not she would begin to go backwards...

She was able to sustain her breathing on oxygen, and she was lucid (the nurses told us they were amazed--they did not expect her to make it)
...we were so happy...

By Thursday evening, what the doctors call "hospital pyschosis" set in....my mom became very confused, dioriented and agitated...that has been her state ever since

She is in and out, moments of knowing us and then moments of calling out for her sisters, mom and dad, all of whom have passed....


That's where we are now...they tell us she will come out of this, it will take time, they are doing everything they can to support her body healing until she gets her mind back....

It has been so hard to see everything she has been through....my mom is 4 foot 8 inches...full blooded Italian (she doesn't know the pope died yet)....

Her name is Ida...

She is a fighter...

Thanks for all of your prayers...

St Patrick's Day

My mom is still about the same. The doctors are waiting for her kidneys to stabilize so they can run a dye test to her heart to see where the blockage is coming from. It is just one day at a time to see how she responds. I think the biggest thing I am in touch with from the events of this week is that I am not prepared for my mom to die. She is 82 and has been in pretty good health so I have not had to think about the reality of her passing. In many ways this is the beginning of her body shutting down. It could be soon or she could have a few good years left. We don't know yet. This morning I woke up and I'm not sure I was dreaming but I immediately was taken to a time with my mom. I think I must have been around 4 years old. It was before I went to school. I remember sitting on the floor, eating my lunch, a tuna sandwich and watching a local t.v. show "Wanda Wanda" my mom was ironing and then she put me down for a nap. My mom must have been in her mid 30's...she was younger than I am now...I would imagine in the days to come as my mom is on my mind I will be in touch with many memories...

Thanks for everyone's prayers, for my mom and for my family.

Peace

Please Pray for My Mom

My mom just turned 82. She has been in pretty good health. Late Saturday night she was having a hard time breathing. She called my sister to come over, then called an aid car to take her to the hospital. She has congestive heart failure, and she had a heart attack. They don't know how severe the damage was to her heart yet or what is causing the blockage. They have her on meds to drain fluid that has formed in her lung cavity and they have to decide if they are going to do any surgery to see what's causing the blockage to her heart. We should know more from the doctors today.

IHNS

We were introduced to IHNS (Interfaith Hospitality Network of Seattle) by Rachelle. Thank you Rachelle. IHNS is a non-profit org...they help homeless children and their families by getting them off the streets and into a stable, supportive environment that gives them the support they need to obtain jobs and homes. They coordinate a network of congregations that provide community, temporary housing and food, while their staff provides case management, advocacy and direction to help families access the resources they need to take care of themselves. IHNS has a day shelter with staff to provide the case management. They ask congreagations to be the night shelter--providing, food, community, a place to sleep.

Our first time of using our facility to host these guests was last Christmas. The families came on Sunday the 19th and stayed until Sunday the 26th. It took 58 volunteers and 206 volunteer hours to host our guests. Our faith community with the help of folks like Rachelle and others helped us create a home for these families the week of Christmas. Before the families came we made of list of what would be needed to house them. Electric heaters for the bedrooms, sheets, blankets, dishes, towels, small appliances, coffee pots, silverware...etc We had pretty much everything we needed within 30 days of hosting. The families came on Sunday, had dinner, spent the night and then the van would pick them up for the day center by 7:00 a.m. We served them breakfast and provided lunch items for them to pack a lunch.

So, each evening they would come at around 6:00 to dinner prepared, folks to share a meal with and then spend the night. (Each night we had at least 2 folks from our faith community spend the night) Christmas Eve, we had a super turkey dinner with the guest families and our family--some of our children and relatives, there were so many of us...then cleaned up and prepared for our 10:00 Christmas Eve service...

We are now part of the rotation to host one week per quarter. Our next hosting week is coming up and guess what? It turns out on the rotation, the families will be with us for Holy Week. They arrive on Palm Sunday and depart on Easter Sunday afternoon. Amazing how that has worked out. We are now preparing schedules and menus and overnight hosts....

Incarnation--God became one of us and lived with us...I cannot begin to really comprehend all that means...I am not educated enough to explain theologically the implications of the incarnation, but somehow it means God came and encountered humanity, became human and forever has joined himself with us....when I dream of a faith community that is living out purpose--I wonder what it really means to be the living, breathing expression of God, Christ in a neighborhood?

A few years ago we discerned within our faith community that we would lease a facility. A facility would give us the means to faithfully pursue our purpose...as we began to think in these terms and dream of having a presence in a neighborhood, using the facility as a community center we wondered in what ways we would serve....

I began to reflect on this Scripture, meditated on it for almost a year:
John 1:14 The Message

The Word became flesh and blood,

and moved into the neighborhood.

We saw the glory with our own eyes,

the one-of-a-kind glory,

like Father, like Son,

Generous inside and out,

true from start to finish.

This text gave me life, gave me hope, gave me the faith to lease a facility for the purpose of serving a neighborhood....

Back to IHNS...partnering with IHNS is one way we use the facility to serve the neighborhood...homeless children...when they were here at Christmas time, one little 8 year old boy said to me, "I want to live here"...

We are in the very beginning process of creating a caring arm under our non-profit designation that will serve families in need, counselors and groups for marriages, family and at-risk youth....this is in seedling form...we want to partner with some other organizations in this neighborhood to see this come about...

We will be in our facility one year in April...I look back and see the relationships that are in the process of forming with the high school, with the substance abuse center down the street, with children and families that live in a low-income apartment facility where some of us tutor and serve in other ways....

I am amazed...

I am thankful...

I am hopeful for what the future holds...

I am convinced that a faith-community exists for the sake of the world...

Fear of ALL Things Dental

I have been out of it for almost 2 weeks because a tooth was abscessing. It began almost 2 weeks ago, actually, last year I went to a local University School of Dentistry (which will remain unnamed)..because I needed some extensive work done and didn't have the money for the procedures...so went to the School. Let me just say, everytime I went for a procedure it was like entering a torture chamber...I kid you not, I was more than traumatized...

Last April, I realized it just was not worth it...so stopped my treatment.

Two weeks ago, when my tooth began to ache, I went to my dentist, after looking at the x-ray, I was asked where the previous work on this tooth had been done...apparently, it was done incorrectly and that is why I had an abscess...

I had to go to a specialist because of the complications...went on Tuesday afternoon, and after the root canal, I was in so much pain that I spent the next 32 hours on pain meds that put me to sleep....I am finally among the living today.

I think in 48 years I truly have had about 3 good experiences at the dentist...therefore, my fear of all things dental...

I am sure dentists are fine human beings...I don't know any personally, I sort of wish I did, maybe it would help my fear, not sure, glad that is over!

Other than the pain I have been through I did have some highlights...

On Saturday, I was invited to a leadership feast with Mars Hill Grad School's student leadership (thanks Barb).

What an amazing group. I brought my friend and partner in all things Kingdom, Leigh with me. The first hour we listened to the students discuss leadership. I was so amazed by the amount of honest evaluation and willingness to embrace where they were on their journey, and courage to want to grow, that when it came time for me to facilitate a discussion on leadership, I was speechless. I really could have just listened to them....

It ended up, I shared a bit about me and opened it to the student leaders to tell me what they would like to talk about. They asked about my journey as a woman leader and how I got to be ordained and functioning where I am today....

They asked what I love about leading, what I hate about leading, what advice I would give them about finding a faith community...I was met with such graciousness and hospitality that it was the highlight of my week.

I so appreciated their hearts...they will make a difference in this world...they have placed themselves in an environment to connect their own places of pain in the places of pain in this world that will bring healing, reconciliation and justice...I admire them....

Silent Retreat

Back from a Silent Retreat...well not silent the entire time. I went with 3 friends. We make it up as we go. We pretty much break out the time to have 3 hours of silence, then come together to prepare a meal and process what is going on for each of us. We left on Sunday afternoon and came back this a.m. so we had a good time of it. Here is where I landed:

Lectio: Matthew 6:34 The Message

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

This was just what I needed. I tend to obsess about the future, especially when change is happening. It was a much needed time with good friends--easy to be with friends.

I am rich in relationships. Relationships that are honest. Being with these women, confessing our fears, our sin, and encouraging each other on the journey is about as good as it gets!

Women again

I started writing about my experience as a woman pastor. I left off when I began attending a Vineyard church in 1985. The lead pastor of this Vineyard church and a couple of his associates had all served in a church previously that had a woman as the senior pastor.
Sidebar--many have said to me about this woman and this particular church...because the church had it's share of problems..."that's why I could never be okay with ordaining women and having them in the senior role" I wonder why we don't say that about the many, many churches that have had serious problems led by men in the senior pastorate/

Okay, sorry for the short rant...Because the men in the lead pastorate at the Vineyard church I attended (my second adult experience in church) had no problem with women in ministry I was protected in a way from all the controversy.

In 1994 I was a part of a church plant with 4 other folks. In 1995, the lead pastor and the church I served wanted to license and ordain me to recognize the gifts and roles I had been functioning in for years. Our regional overseer at the time in the Vineyard did not think it scriptural to ordain women. I talked with him at length about it. We agreed to disagree. He told us that the Vineyard had not taken a stance on the issue so we could do what we wanted and he would bless it.

So, I was ordained in 1995 and served as the associate pastor in our local church.

In 1996, I married my husband, Rich. He had previously been the senior pastor of a church for many years. He had spent the last 10 years out of the official church ministry setting. He worked with groups and had a counseling practice. After the death of his wife he felt a sense that the rest of his life was to be about ministering within a local faith community.

When we got married, I was functioning on staff as a pastor. He was not. The first year of our marriage was a bit intense to say the least as we worked out our situation. You see, in Rich's church system, women were not ordained and not allowed in senior leadership positions. His wife was a pastor's wife.

Now he found himself in a total role reversal. He was in some ways, the pastor's wife. He can tell his own story but we often laugh at the way the circumstance of life sometimes turns out so different then we could have imagined.

In 1998, the lead pastor I worked with resigned and Rich and I, together assumed the lead pastor role. We co-pastor in every way. We lead the leadership team meetings, we lead the all-group meetings, we take turns teaching and preaching...we truly carry the responsibility of the faith community equally.

The thing that is hard in the Vineyard. Even though the Vineyard is open to women in lead pastor roles, there is still so many areas it is not really recognized. For one, if you go on the Vineyard USA website, the board is made up of all men.

In our area there has been several ELI conferences held. ELI is a Northwest Vineyard project aimed at connecting, equipping and encouraging emerging leaders in the Northwest to lead within and plant from their local churches. At each of these conferences the visible leading has been men. A few of us raised the issue, why not have some women teach, or lead segments...we were basically told they were not going to talk about a the "agenda"

At one of the conferences I was asked to sit on a panel. There were 3 men and 3 women I think. In response to a question, one of the women talked about how at an early age she knew she wanted to be a pastor's wife. Please hear me here, there is nothing wrong with that. What I am about to say has no bearing on her role, call, destiny, I think everyone has to faithfully live out what they are called to.

She made the statement that her role was no different than mine. Someone asked me if I saw it the same. I said I couldn't comment on our roles as I don't know what her role encompasses. What I would say might be different is that I never dreamed of being a pastor's wife, I dreamed of being a pastor. I was a pastor before I was a pastor's wife. I would still be a pastor whether I was married to Rich or not.

I think I was not experienced by some so well that day. I heard from a couple of folks that they thought once again, "Rose has the woman agenda"

In our faith community, most of the young people are like I used to be--they don't even know it is an issue...When some folks come into our community and realize I am a pastor they don't stay. I find our community embraces and honors the giftings and callings of both men and women. I am thankful I am in this community. I hear horror stories of women less fortunate.

Well I am done for today..I'm leaving tomorrow with 3 friends to go on a silent retreat for 48 hours. Even though I have just been gone and have a ton to catch up on, I think this will be a good way to start my work. I am looking forward to the solitude...lots to hear from God on right now.

Peace

Women Part 2

I just returned from the Emergent Conference in San Diego. I was not there for the entire conference. I went with Off the Map. OTM had a critical concerns course on Tuesday and Wednesday.

I attended a couple of the Emerging Women's Leaders Initiative meetings. One in particular was very eye opening for me. A roundtable with women leaders and Dan Allender. Dan met with this group to brainstorm the issues of women in leadership and how Mars Hill Grad School might be helpful.

A number of issues struck me but the most helpful was this: In my association (not my local church) over the past few years there was much talk about women pastors and more specific if women should be ordained and serve as a senior or lead pastor. During several of those discussions I was experienced by others as having an "agenda" agenda being a negative thing.

Dan pointed out to me that I am in a double bind--because I do have an agenda....

So, I have been thinking about that statement and to be honest I have to own, I do have an agenda. I looked up "agenda" and here is the dictionary definition....1 : a list or outline of things to be considered or done 2 : an underlying often ideological plan or program ...

Here is my agenda that I won't give up...

I want to see space created in the church for women to lead

I believe (and many good people disagree) that women can and should be ordained if that is how God has called them and gifted them to function in His body....

I want to see more women visible so that younger women or women that have not seen female leadership modeled can and be encouraged to pursue faithfully what God would have for them.....

I don't want to see men or women as token leaders for the sake of making any kind of statement.....

My experience in meeting with leaders in my association has been met with a mix...some men and women very supportive and some men and women not.. it has run the gamut

I am fortunate, in my association, each local church is autonomous so each church can decide on the issue as they see it...

what is sad is that when we all come together for a conference or seminar it is still usually more often than not men who do all the visible leading....

I cannot change that, but I can create space for women in my sphere of influence to grow and reach for all that God has for them...

I also will watch for opportunities to voice my "agenda" when necessary and where I find openness for honest dialogue...

By the way, Brian McLaren is a class act...did you see him on Larry King?