Saturday, February 18, 2006

Currently Reading

A Theology as big as the City by Ray Bakke - For school and VCC book study--go here to review or join the discussion
or here and click on the left link to discuss

For school:
Transforming Mission by David J. Bosch
Part I - New Testament Models of Misson chapters like Luke-Acts Practicing Forgiveness and Solidarity with the Poor
or Part 2 - Historical Paradigms of Mission - chapters like the Missionary Paradigm of the Eastern Church
Part 3 - Toward a Relevant Missiology - with chapters like Mission as the Quest for Justice
I am just beginning this book...

Also for school:
The Female Advantage - Women's Ways of Leadership by Sally Helgesen
Really enjoying this book...


I just lost a long post...second time today that's frustrating...

Okay, cloing comments from me on my rant..bottom line, I think it's extremely bad manners...

Nicole, my 26 year old daughter left for SE Asia on Tuesday night...she will be gone four months...traveling with friends through Thailand, Vietnam, Lous, Camodia, she would like to get to India. Rich and I and Alex are meeting her here for her best friend's wedding...I am officiating the wedding on a white, sandy beach. We will be gone a little over two weeks on the small island of Koh Phangan...nothing really there except the resort, the beach and a small village. I am looking forward to rest, sun and getting some reading finished for school. I have about 2000 pages to finish and reports to write so it will be nice to have some downtime away from everything to read...I am also looking forward to spending time away with Rich and Alex and the bonus is to be there with Nicole and her friends...

I don't think Rich and I would have ever chosen a vacation in Thailand. When I was invited to officate with expenses paid we realized again the way gifts come to us

all of a sudden the period key on my computer has stopped working

time to reboot!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Exit Etiquette - Warning this is a rant

One of the most painful things about pastoring/leading in a faith community setting is disappearing people. I know it is part and parcel for working with people but I still don’t know how to deal with the pain which causes anger which causes reflection on the anger and so on…

For those of you who do the same or similar work, you probably know what I am talking about. For those of you who don’t maybe you could listen with an attitude of trying to understand?

People come into the faith community. Some people, especially those who have grown up in church come with hurt and legitimate wounding from past experiences. I have a lot of empathy – I have had terrible/abusive/self-serving leader experiences on more than one occasion in my 30+ years of being in different churches…(4 to be exact). So, I want the faith community I serve to be a place of healing.

When people come in, there are some that come with a sense of what community should be…there seem to be many different expectations. Here is the experience I find most painful…when I or when I observe others in the community invest time and genuine effort trying to get to know someone and let relationship unfold…then the person is gone, gone from any contact… there is not so much as an email or conversation that says “thanks, it was nice to begin to get to know you and the community but this isn’t the right fit for me so I won’t be around anymore” or, “thanks, it was an experience trying to get to know you and the faith community, but the truth is, I think you guys are way off, no offense but this isn’t the place for me”, or, “just wanted to let you know I won’t be around anymore, don’t want to go into the why, but wanted to let you know I noticed you tried to have relationship with me, thanks”

Am I wrong? Is there no church-faith community exit etiquette? I don’t mean the one or five time visitor that’s looking – I mean people who get invited out and over and in other ways have been intentionally noticed and people have tried to get to know them…

For those of us who choose to be in community that has a front door for people to come and go through it would be nice and less painful to have some exit etiquette….

Any suggestions?

That’s my rant, thanks for reading…